It's hotter than Channing Tatum gnawing on sunglasses, and I'm scheduled for a little (9 hour) jaunt to Spokane for work today, so I'm phoning it in and re-posting this piece I wrote for the incomparable Diane Linch several months back. She asked me to share my thoughts on how age and experience change us. Instead, I started talking to myself.
Dear Elizabeth,
This picture of you hangs beside my bed. It is the first and last thing I see, like a bookend, familiar and a little faded, to my day. When I look at it, I see the 18 years I’ve traveled since that warm day at the county fair, the 18 years stretching out before you.
Oh the stories I could tell you about what you’ll see and experience and learn along the way. All the joys and heartbreak and wonder that are in store for you. I could write page after page, but I won’t. I don’t want to ruin the surprise.
I suppose a few hints couldn’t hurt though, so here are the five biggest lessons I've learned on this journey:
Leave it brunette. Right now, you are convinced that curls are the ticket to popularity and acceptance. Later, the same belief will lead you to become a bottle blond and obsess over the number on your bathroom scale. Resist the urge. The most beautiful you’ll ever feel is the day you decide to look like yourself, and not like everyone else.
It gets better. In a few years, you’ll face a group of bullies; insecure kids who will make fun of your lips, trip you in the hallway, leave nasty notes in your locker, and call you gay slurs because you like books more than boys. Hang in there. Just a few years later, Hollywood housewives will pay a fortune to have lips like yours. You will date strings of interesting men who like that you read books. And you will find yourself with a reservoir of strength and a deep compassion for the underdog. Both will take you places you never dreamed possible.
Listen to your bellybutton. Trust your intuition -- the little voice in your gut -- about the people and decisions you encounter. Every mistake you ever make will come during those times you stop listening to it.
Don’t hold on too tightly. You will date all sorts of men. Some will bring you joy; others will introduce you to heartbreak. All will teach you valuable lessons about yourself. One, however, will take far more of your time and energy than he deserves. Let him go. There’s a better one waiting.
Take responsibility for your joy. Your happiness in this life is, and always will be, dependent on you and you alone. The sooner you stop looking for it elsewhere, the happier your life will be.
Good luck!
Love,
Elizabeth
P.S. Take a writing class (or two) in college. I know you want to be a kindergarten teacher/veterinarian right now, but you never know, you may need it someday.
P.P.S. Do us both a favor next year and skip the sky-high Aquanet bangs on school picture day, okay?
{Images via Elizabeth Farrar for Bella Vita}
No comments:
Post a Comment